my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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