just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
