she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
organizing the empties. That sober.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
