idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
