its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize