sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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