he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize