wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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