thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
well you can't waste a boner
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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