So drunk its hurt
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Randomize
