Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
