HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
