So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
