youre lurking in front of me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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