Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
