We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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