i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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