White coat. Heels.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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