Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
