I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
