walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
