A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
