so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize