Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
