Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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