ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
