Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
