I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
