Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
