why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Enjoy the penises
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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