I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
