I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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