I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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