Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
