Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Shitshow foam night was such a success
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
