Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
