I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
