She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
