I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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