put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
