You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
