when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish you could order shots online.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
