girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
