Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
