just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
