I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
