I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
