You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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