Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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