You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
