i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
