The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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