some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
