I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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