YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
