dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
