Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
