ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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