So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
