I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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