I can't breathe out the right side of my face
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
