The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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