we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
