how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
