i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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