Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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