Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
