I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
