just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
