im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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