She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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