Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize