I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
