my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
